Tuesday, September 02, 2008

what to do? your input needed.

Today finds me faced with a dilemma.

I just found out today that I have been awarded a scholarship to attend this conference in Philadelphia. It is being organized by Living Beyond Breast Cancer (don't know a whole lot about them but I do love that name). My air fare and half of my hotel will be covered.

The content looks interesting.

And I would love the chance to meet some other interesting women living with cancer.

It will be almost exactly a year since I attended this conference, which rejuvenated and inspired me.

However, the Philadelphia conference is on Saturday, November 1st. It starts at 9:00am.

This means I would miss Hallowe'en in Ottawa.

I love helping my kids get ready and sending them off to trick or treat. I love giving out candy (I love eating it, too, which is not as good for me).

I need your help. What should I do?

Oh, and if I go to the conference, I get to stay here for two nights.


Babz Rawls Ivy said...

I love Loews hotels!

HHmmm Dorothy...can't help you. Only know what I would do. I would be at the conference and let those kids fend for themselves with Dad and I would tell em to save me some candy!

nonlineargirl said...

I love halloween but here in Portland it is often raining on the actual day, which makes it less fun to be outside (costumed or otherwise). I say go.

Anonymous said...

Go to conference and enjoy, but have a dress rehearsal a couple of days ahead with the kids to make sure dad has all he needs costume wise and then it's up to him.

Anonymous said...

Again you prove yourself to be a better woman than I. Me, I wouldn't be so much wondering if I should go, but whether the kids would still be willing to share their haul...go and have fun. As a Mom I know they will. You can have a "practice run" by taking them to close friends/family to show off costumes and create memories.

Anonymous said...

LBBC has been at the LiveSTRONG Village the last two years I've been there. I don't know much about them either (I'm not quite "beyond"), but it is a chance to interact with other people in a similar position. And the inspiration could be, well, inspiring!

Dee said...

Hi Laurie,
Well, if the conference lasts, say, four days, I say missing half a day on Saturday is acceptable. I really enjoy Halloween with my son, too. Or, perhaps you can take a red-eye flight? I know that's harder and I don't know that I can do that anymore - arrive exhausted because you haven't slept.

It's that delicate balance between being a mom and doing stuff for yourself . . . which seems to get amplified when living with metastatic cancer.

A few months ago, you said something about doing things to create good memories with your kids/family - I have to say that that is something that really sticks with me and is a question that I ask before making a choice between doing a work-related event and doing something with my son.

But you also need to take care of yourself, too.

I know that that didn't really help. Maybe if the kids have Halloween parties at school, you can help with those, then take an evening flight to Philly. You miss the trick-or-treating, but still get to be with them on the actual day.

Dee said...

Oh, I see. It's only a one-day conference. That makes it a more difficult decision.

You know, for me, I end up thinking about cancer WAY too much. It's a relief to lose myself in my work or doing something fun with my son. And, I find that I don't need as much in-person support from other survivors - I find what I need online, which allows me to live an almost normal life with friends and family and colleagues and work. For myself, I would probably chose Halloween.

I wish you luck making the decision!

Allie said...

Seesh...first post lost into cyberspace.

Having been a single Mom, going to school, juggling work, exams, and assignments (as well as classes) I'd propose an additional possibility. Have a Halloween party the week-end before you go. Some pumpkin carving, making and eating of wormy treats, a few scary stories and a bit of bobbing for apples about does it. Kids dress-up (in indoor costumes) have a blast and the Halloween season is launched. And you get your cake and get to eat it too. I promise there will be great memories - more than a Halloween night can provide and far less guilt. If you're not feeling well invite playful friends who have been missing dress-up chances.
A thought just so you know there are more choices than just two.
Just saw Dee's post - I think we're thinking along similar lines here.
PS, Congrats on the book. So glad all is well there as it is here. I guess we journey on just glad these are our choices and problems.

Tricia said...

I like Allie's suggestion.

I'm afraid if I were you- living in your shoes with my personality- which I'm not and really am not even going to begin to think I could fathom knowing what it is like living with metastatic cancer- I would be afraid to miss Halloween. Because what if I got sick again?

It's no good living with fear.

Tricia said...

Yeesh, I just read what I wrote. I hope I wasn't too off the cuff,casual like- you know?

Lordy- I mean well. I'm just blunt- but you probably already knew that, right?

Now I keep typing and deleting..agh!

Mom2Amara said...

I may be in the minority - but Halloween is like my Christmas. I love everything about Halloween. I have an annual party the weekend before but that doesn't replace Halloween night.

That's my two cents.

laurie said...

Thank you all so much. I am thinking now...
And Tricia - no worries. I do know what you mean and I don't mind blunt.

deb said...

here's another thought...are there other conferences on the horizon that you want to attend? I know you may not get a scholarship to go but it would give you another opportunity to look forward to...

jacqueline said...

not to complicate the issue. BUT if you are in philly and THAT close to nyc- i'll bring the train over and my bag could be packed with lots of candy! just a thought.