Monday, April 30, 2007

covered in slime

I hate ultrasounds.

It's not just the unpleasantness of lying in a chilly room, covered in cold, goopy, gel.

It's not just the ugly robe and mind-numbing boredom of lying first on my back and then my sides, as I silently obey commands to, "Breathe in. Hold it. Breathe out."

What really gets to me is the fact that there is a screen right in front of me that I cannot interpret. A screen that has the answers to whether the tumours in my liver have grown larger. Or if they have started to invade elsewhere.

I hate that the ultrasound technician, a stranger, can interpret the images yet can tell me nothing.

I really hate ultrasounds.

I see the oncologist on Friday. I hope to have results by then.


Anonymous said...

Your courage is admirable. And thank you for being able and, more important, willing to share your experiences and feelings with us. I know from your blog what Elka must have felt, but was not always willing to expres to me. As I said, your courage is admirable.


laurie said...

You have no idea how much this means to me. xo

Anonymous said...

Sending gentle hugs and lots of warm wishes your way for great news on Friday.


Anonymous said...

I have all of my fingers and toes crossed on your behalf!

Anonymous said...

I'm with Pocketina! My fingers and toes are crossed for you Laurie. Let us know how it turns out.