every year is a gift

In a few days, I will turn 41.

I will be offline, hanging out at one of my favourite places in the world. I am not sure how peaceful it will be (we will be there with four adults, two kids, two puppies and a grown up dog) but I know it will be happy.

Last year my birthday was a very big deal. My friends and co-workers pooled their resources and sent me to BlogHer in Chicago. And there was a whole month of celebration leading up to the day itself. I was celebrating being alive, turning forty and my first clean scan after the metastasis.

This year I am happy to have things be much lower key. I am feeling pretty lucky these days.

In January, I acknowledged to myself that there were two things I really wanted this year, to attend BlogHer in San Francisco and a puppy. Thanks (again) to generosity from others (and the fact that I spoke at BlogHer this year), both of those things have been realized for me.

That’s a lot. And it’s enough.

Especially when I realize that every birthday marks another year that I have been alive in this beautiful world. Another year surrounded by people I love and in which I have the chance to learn and grow and become stronger.

I have been feeling a little off balance lately, tired and frustrated and somewhat overwhelmed. It’s good to have a birthday to remind me again how lucky I am. And with four clean scans now under my belt, I hope to have lots more chances to celebrate my birthday.

Now that’s not to say that I don’t want a little cake with a few candles and some home made cards from my kids (and I did treat myself to a facial before I left for SF). Even a low-key birthday needs to be celebrated.

I'll be back online on August 11th.

Cross-posted to Mothers With Cancer.