No one can understand hot flashes unless they have experienced one.
It is so much easier to appreciate the beauty of one's own community when viewed through a visitor's eyes.
This is the definition of good friends: You don't think twice about letting your kid go to their place for dinner wearing pajamas. And when you get there you discover that their kid is still in pajamas too!
photo: M. Slavitch
Nancy from Nancy's Point! I'll be sending her a copy of Not Done Yet early next week.
Thanks so much to everyone who entered.
I'm hoping to have an ebook version of my book out soon. This will make it so much easier to send out (and no more shipping costs!)
I'm feeling completely uninspired on the blogging front, so I've decided to run my first ever contest.
Would you like to win a copy of my book, Not Done Yet: Living Through Breast Cancer? To enter, just tell me why you'd like to have the book (it can be serious or funny) in the comments section and I'll pick a winner at random, on Friday, January 27th. Contest closes Thursday, January 26th at midnight.
There are only a few unsold copies left, so get one while you can.
In other news, I'm reliably informed that my publisher is planning on re-releasing Not Done Yet as an ebook. No more shipping costs!
I wish I could give a copy of Pink Ribbons Inc to anyone who has ever asked me why I'm down on the pink ribbon industry. The documentary summarizes all that is wrong with pinkwashing, in the most powerful terms possible: through interviews, images, facts and with women telling their own stories.
My 13 year old son and my mother in law saw Pink Ribbons Inc when it opened at the Toronto International Film Festival in September. They were both blown away. My son is a film buff and he declared this one to be one of the best documentaries he'd every seen. Last week, I was invited to an advance screening of the film and - although I was already sympatico with the message - I was riveted, moved and angered. It's incredibly well done.
The movie is based on the book by Dr. Samantha King (the author is featured in the movie) and could be separated into three threads (each of which could make it's own documentary):
The truth about cause marketing and the pink ribbons industry.
The lack of discussion and resources going into determining the environmental causes of breast cancer (or any cancer).
How traumatic and alienating the pink ribbon industry and talk of "survivorship" is to women who live with metastasis.
It's all extremely powerful and persuasive.
My one quibble with the film is the depiction of those who participate in runs/walks for the cure as naive dupes. While there is no doubt that many of us have been led to believe that we are effecting real change when we fundraise and walk, our reasons for doing so may be more complex than the movie allows.
Taking part in these walks can be fun - a celebration of life and community. Even with all my objections and analysis, I have felt myself swept up in the fun and emotion of the Run for the Cure - all the while wearing my No Pink for Profit t-shirt. And what's more not all the money raised at every walk goes to undefined research. I know that the Week end to end Women's Cancers in Montreal (a walk featured in the documentary) built a survivorship centre from funds raised that's of concrete use to all women with breast cancer.
But the quibble is a minor one and the movie is terrific. You should see it. In Ottawa, the movie will be at the Mayfair Orleans from February 3 to 9 and the ByTowne from February 17 to 23. Check your local listings often and go! Documentaries don't stay in the theatres for very long.
I've been asked by BreastCancerAnswers.com to come up with three tips I'd like to share about going through breast cancer treatment. This poses an interesting challenge. I had to ask myself, "Out of all the good advice I've received and doled out, what three things have stayed with me? Living, as I have, in cancer treatment for 6 years, what is most important."
This is what I came up with:
1. Don't be too hard on yourself and don't compare yourself to anyone else (why yes, this is one tip - the two statements go together, OK?). Just as every cancer is different, treatments vary widely and so do our responses. Just because that you've been told that Jane worked full time and ran 5k every day of treatment doesn't mean that you ought to be doing these things. And conversely, you don't have to become a shut in just because Jane chose to stay in bed for weeks at a time. Who knows? Jane's choices may have been made because of what other people told her she should be doing. Do what's right for you.
2. When in doubt, bring a friend. People like to be asked to do specific things to help friends and family going through treatment. Don't be afraid to ask for company. Some of the meds I take leave me so wobbly I couldn't make it home without assistance. But even if I feel fine, I've been very happy to have a friend with me to provide a distraction during treatment or be a second pair of ears during appointments.
3. Live in the moment. We all want and hope to put treatment behind us. It really helps me, though, to take a look around and see the things that are good in my life right now. This doesn't come easily to me. I'm someone who lived much of my life looking ahead. I'm working on identifying those things in my life that give me great joy - and then savouring them.
I think that's it. If you've been through cancer treatment, what three tips would you share?
As a way to ease myself out of my winter ennui, my therapist suggested I do some journalling about the things that make me happy. Some of those things are probably evident to anyone who knows me even a little:
Hanging out with my kids.
Laughing with my sweetie.
Watching my dog run in the snow.
Riding my bike.
Reading a good book.
Being in a yarn store with money to burn.
But when I dug a little deeper, I came up with some things that are a little less obvious:
The moments of real connection that can pass between friends and strangers.
Having a good idea.
Eating a healthy, tasty meal I've made myself.
Clicking the "Publish" button on a good blog post.
Getting positive feedback about my writing, especially from other writers.
Looking forward to a trip, whether near or far.
Texting with my BFF.
And, perhaps not surprisingly, it turns out that writing about what makes me happy...makes me happy.
