Friday, February 09, 2007

on being afraid

Sometimes,
it clutches at my heart
icy fingers squeezing
so hard I cannot breathe.

Sometimes,
it whispers in my ear
quiet murmurs disquiet
as I go about life's tasks.

Sometimes,
I am ambushed
sucker-punched
when I have let down my guard.

Like all intimate relationships
ours ebbs and flows in its intensity
but we never part for long.

I live with fear
but not in fear.

And I will never let fear rule my life.

7 comments:

kalen said...

beautiful. very visual.

Anonymous said...

Laurie~ Still keeping you in my daily prayers. I too experienced these "waves of fear", whether quick jolts or slow creepy slithers in my mind, either way, they are poison for sure.
Bless you,
Comrade L

Anonymous said...

Laurie,

I love your poem and your prose; you express what others think and feel as well, but in an elegant and accessible way. A great gift.

SSW

amanda said...

I love this Laurie.

Don't get pulled under by the fear. Then, cancer has truly won.

Love,
Amanda

Kim said...

Good for you, girl.

Beautiful poem and good advice for everyone.
You remain in my prayers.

pocketina said...

A wonderful, true poem.

I think that, as people struggling with disease, we do get to live a "real-er" life, sometimes, because the exit door of mortality is so clearly marked. I think what's amazing is when people, and I count you among them, are able to say re. mortality, "I don't have to care about it. It just throws all the good in my life into stronger contrast."
And while no one's lucky to have the diseases that grant such an enlightened perspective, it certainly only dawns on healthy people by happy accident that: to live is always to die, but to fear is to always be dying.

Brava!

alto artist said...

I just came across your blog via BlogHer. You are a beautiful writer. Thank you for sharing your life with us in this way. I look forward to reading much, much more.

--aa.