Sunday, February 25, 2007

channelling peggy lee

Is that all there is, is that all there is
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a ball
If that's all there is

I am tolerating chemo relatively well. I am no longer experiencing the rollercoaster of Herceptin side effects. But the routine is grinding me down. Two weeks on, one week off. And there is no end in sight (at least not an end I want to spend much time thinking about).

When I am feeling well (and even much of the time when I am not) I am rarely bored. I am, however struggling to fight some serious malaise. Not that long ago, life felt full of possibility. There were paths to chose and decisions to be made. And if any particular path didn't please me, I could easily change direction and try a new one.

Now that I am not working outside the home (my oncologist says that no insurance company would ever expect me to work again), I have time for other creative pursuits. But I need to shake off the funk brought on by two weeks on, one week off.

I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Today, I am going to do that in a pair of skates. Despite living three minutes (on foot) from the canal, I haven't been skating in a couple of years.

"If that's all there is, my friends, then let's keep dancing."


amanda said...

Have you ever seen Kill Bill 1 and 2? If so, then I have a saying for you..."Wiggle your big toe."

If not, there's something for you to do this afternoon.

Take care,

Anonymous said...

And there's always knitting. You can knit a pair of socks in a week, and then enjoy them for the next two.

Yarn Forward must be pretty much walking distance from where you are. They have amazing sock yarn!


Anonymous said...

Skating, knitting, writing, reading...there's a wealth of pursuits to enrich the senses. I'm glad you're going to go skating!

I think there's also a mid-winter malaise that hits everyone, where you just *need* warm breezes, and sunshine, and the smell of things growing in the earth. (At least, I do...I go seed catalog crazy, this time of year.)

Thinking of you! :-)

Anonymous said...

what about you have little "vacations" on your weeks "off"? one week you can go to hawaii and theme your whole house with hawaii stuff - have all meals that have a tropical feel, drink punch, watch movies about beaches & visit hawaii websites and enjoy the scenery?

think of your 2 weeks "on" as a really bad job that you dread but is necessary for your life quality.

keep going.

Rick Rockhill said...

I found your blog inspiring. I found it because I was searching blogs about Peggy Lee, and your lyrics picked it up. I love music, I just posted my list of favorite female singers today, (Peggy Lee was my #1) And last saturday was my post on top male crooners. Interested in your perspective. if you like Peggy Lee, stop by and say hi sometime.