Thursday, November 25, 2010

but i have an excuse (actually i have a few)

I bailed on National Novel Writing Month on the first day, having written just under 700 words.

I felt like there were too many other interesting bits of writing that I wanted to do, including continuing to edit last year's novel.

And then my life became insane. I've been really hard on myself for all the things I'm not doing lately. This week, though, I've had two people who are very important to me (my coach/therapist and my friend DM) listen to me unload and then tell me that I would have every right to feel overwhelmed with a fraction of what I've got on my plate.

I tend to be hard on myself because I don't work outside the home right now. If I don't go to a job I feel like I should just sail through my other commitments. It felt really good to list everything going on in my life and have two women I respect offer support and sympathy. I've decided that I need to cut myself a lot more slack.

I can do NaNoWriMo next year. I'm OK with that. But I did feel a pang when my son sent me this video:

NaNoWriMo was a fun kind of crazy. I just couldn't let the rest of my life go to do it this year.


Andrea Ross said...

Be good to yourself, Laurie.

Your family depends on you. By being good to you, you're being good to them.

The big things that are keeping you busy are the most important ones.

I too am learning to let things slide.

The time squeeze can make me feel completely frustrated and frazzled.

But I have had joyful glimmers of complete empowerment when I've consciously decided to say no to uber-mom uber-wife uber-woman uber-employee uber-survivor guilts.

- Getting into my pjs at 6pm.
- Going to bed at 9pm.
- Not contributing to school functions.
- Not doing proper homework for our recent municipal election
- ignoring the dustbunnies

I'm learning to think of little lazinesses as Luxurious.

laurie said...

Andrea- if this comment had a "like" button, I'd be pressing it.

Dee said...

My acupuncturist always talks about our "crazy whacked-out yang society" (yang refers to the active/male/sunny/growing/productive energy and yin to the passive/female/dusk/waning/resting energy) and mentions that it's too bad that our society doesn't also value rest. Rest is important for restoration. I'm still working on valuing rest and not feeling guilty for not being as productive as I think and our society thinks I should be. It's hard.

LIke Andrea, I too am having fun saying no to certain commitments - like I decided in the last year or two that it's really important that I pick my son up from school at 3pm. It's important to give my son a consistent routine and schedule. And, if truth be told, in the last year, I'm tired by mid to late afternoon, so it works good for me, too. My department just scheduled a faculty meeting at 3pm. I am going to go home and just say I can't make it. I have a prior commitment. My son and rest are just important.

Anyway, Laurie, you already do a lot. That's important, too.

Lene Andersen said...

Sometimes, life takes over and is more important. You'll get there when things simmer down again.

And p.s. Thanks for this. Made me feel better about the current lack of writing in my life. I realized that sometimes, life takes over and is more important.

Finola said...

I have a few more days of National Blog Posting Month, and I'm feeling like I have let a lot slide this month, and I'm feeling pretty stressed out about it all.
Good call on choosing the right priorities!