Monday, September 21, 2009

tired


I've been really struggling with insomnia lately. Falling asleep is tricky enough, but remaining asleep is the real challenge.

Most nights, I find myself awake plagued by questions:

Where do I know the actor from who played the handyman in The Waterhorse?

Should we have washed the dogs before we cleaned the carpets?

What if my oncologist ordered a thoracic CT scan so soon after my last abdominal one because they heard something during my last exam (and not just because I hadn't had one in a long time)?

Is the hat I'm making for D. going to be too small?

Was the other movie The Truth About Cats and Dogs? (I looked it up. His name is Ben Chaplin and it he was the actor in both movies).

Was I sent for two CT scans two weeks apart because of poor planning (or poor communicaiton) or is there something ugly growing on my lungs?

If the hat is too small, should I give it to someone else or rip it out and start over?

And so on, until I realize that sleep is hopeless.

Then I get up, play a little online Scrabble (or Lexulous), look up movies on the internet, check out what's happening on Facebook and hope that I will start to feel sleepy again.

But I'm tired today and tired makes me feel melancholy (I have more on that subject but I think I need to save it for another post).

I could drink more caffeine or go take a nap but neither will help me sleep tonight. Don't know if I can help myself, though.



5 comments:

Sweet Camden Lass said...

I hate the way that thoughts chase round and round sometimes.

*sends lots of good sleeping vibes*

thumbs are held and fingers are crossed here.

x

karlien said...

Hang in there Laurie!

Brenda said...

I know the feeling. . .

hockey mom said...

I too have been up lately with too much going on in my brain. Give me a call anytime. We don't take the phone to bed, so you won't wake anyone. I'll send you some sleepy thoughts...and if the hat is too small I'd rip it out and make it bigger.

Mom2Amara said...

You should find me on FB or Twitter on those kind of nights. I've had difficulty sleeping too. Worried about my mom, money, you name it.

Have you heard back on the CT scans?