Thursday, September 03, 2009

routine anxiety

Today and tomorrow I will make a total of three trips to the General Hospital for tests and an appointment with my oncologist (I toyed with the idea of staying at the hospital all day today but, with 4 and half hours between appointments, I chose to come home. This will mean an extra bike ride up the big hill that is Smythe Rd but I have chosen that as the lesser of two evils).

These appointments will probably never stop making me anxious but I am feeling especially stressed out right now, perhaps because the timing is so compressed.

This morning, I had an echo-cardiogram.

This afternoon, I see the oncologist (My appointment was set a week earlier than it usually is in the cycle and his nurse insisted that I come in for the appointment, as opposed to calling in. This can't have anything to do with my health, as he doesn't have any test results for me. Is he having all his patients in to tell us in person that he is leaving? I have no evidence that this is the case except irrational speculation on my part).

And tomorrow morning, I have a CT scan.

All of these things are just a routine part of my life. But I don't think they will ever feel routine to me.


The Maven said...

I don't think that stuff could ever become routine. It's not exactly like brushing your teeth, and the results are life altering no matter what they are.

*hugs* Hope everything goes well today. Hang in there!

Nat said...

Exactly what maven said...

Hope everything is ok... hugs.

zoom said...

I'll look for you there - I have my first appointment with the medical oncologist today. (Although it looks like you saw the Big O yesterday and today is a CT-scan...but I'll still look for you.) I hope you're feeling more relaxed now that the first day of stuff is behind you...I hope it was anti-climatic.

Cancer Studies said...

I hope everything will be OK