I planning on calling this post, "ok. i blew it." But then I decided that would be a) not very constructive and b) not entirely accurate.
If you are new to the blog, you can check my review of February here.
When I was very young, I would make resolutions and then pretty much forget about them. For the last few years, I haven't bothered. This year, as I attempt to come to terms with the many ways in which my life has changed, I decided to mark the new year by setting out some goals in response to these changes.
These resolutions are an outcome of my desire to take control over the things that I can when it comes to my health. They also reflect the way that my priorities have changed over the last couple of years.
Inspired by BlogHer's Kristy Sammis every resolution must pass the S.M.A.R.T test. That is, it must be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. Now that I'm a few months into this project , I am realizing that some of my goals were SMARTer than others.
I have been spending time with my family and loving it.
Julia Cameron, author of The Artist's Way (Artists Way 10th Anniversary Edition), writes about "creative u-turns" in terms of an artist's progress in overcoming blocks. In March, I made a whole bunch of u-turns. Creative ones, definitely, but I can use the term in the context of my health as well (and in a major 'aha!' moment yesterday afternoon, I realized that progress on these fronts goes hand in hand for me. Perhaps this should have been obvious but it really hadn't occurred to me to make a clear connection before).
Towards the middle of the month, I stopped paying attention to what I put into my mouth. This eventually slid into self-medicating with food to numb anxiety over a pending deadline and to comfort myself at the loss of a friend. After a couple of weeks of this, I started to feel pretty crappy and run down (I also found myself really struggling with editing and writing. Not entirely sure about cause and effect. It's a bit of a 'chicken and egg' question, really).
So today, I began anew. I am carefully counting Weight Watchers points and I am doing my best to eat things that are good for me (especially easy things like veggies, flax seed and green tea). I had fish for lunch and I won't nosh into the evening. And, once again, I will cut out as much refined sugar as possible (this will be easier now that the Girl Guide Cookies are almost gone).
I am pleased that I have been doing more cooking (in my case, 'more' means 'some' since even a meal every other week is a marked increase in my contribution on this front) and resolve to cook at least one family dinner each week in April.
In the end, the scale says I lost five pounds this month but I think that's the chemo diet. I suspect that the four pound drop from last week is mostly water and that the chickens (or the pizza and wine) will come home to roost later this week.
My success on the fitness front was more mixed. I fell just short of my walking goal. I didn't go to yoga at all, nor did I make it to any other kind of fitness class. On the other hand, I worked my abs a few times (I'm guessing eight or nine. This month, I'll keep track), which is, if I'm honest, more than I have ever done before. I feel pretty good about that.
In April, I will once again aim to walk an average of at least an hour five times a week and an extra thirty minutes once a week. Spring seems to have finally arrived, which will make achieving this goal considerably more appealing.
I will also do those excruciating crunches every day, except the three days after chemo.
Since the big deadline continues to loom, I won't set any goals that involve getting to yoga or fitness classes until after May 1st.
On this front, I admit to complete and utter failure. Clearly my procrastination when it comes to writing does not manifest itself as frantic home improvement. There is clutter on top of my clutter.
And there are things in the backs of my fridge, freezers and cupboards of such uncertain vintage as to be unrecognizable.
I think I'll cut myself some slack in this area and consider myself to have done well if we all have clean clothes, a narrow path on which to walk, room in the fridge to put things and enough clear surface area on the dining table on which to put down four plates.
To expect anything else right now is to set myself up for failure.
April will be a very busy month. May can be spring cleaning month in my household.
What about you? Did you make any resolutions this year? And how is that working out for you?