not fair

Today's blog has been pre-empted by a bout of self-pity. Regular programming will no doubt resume shortly.

I am feeling pretty bitter today.

I am sick of being in treatment for cancer.

It's the National Capital Race Week End and instead of running (albeit very slowly) in the half-marathon, I need to rest when I take my dog for a walk. It broke my heart to see the participants in the 10K stream down the street near my house today.

I miss my work and I am sick of feeling side-lined.

None of my clothes fit me any more.

I am fed up with being stared at, even when the glances are sympathetic but especially with those who are clearly uncomfortable with my appearance (perhaps because they don't want to believe it could happen to them).

I have lost patience with those who hurriedly change the subject when I acknowledge my cancer as though I am being indiscrete.

I hate looking and feeling like a cancer patient.

I am tired of handling other people's emotions around my breast cancer.

I hate that my family is being made to live through this.

I had a good life before my diagnosis (just six months ago) and I want it back.