Monday, June 12, 2006

bald hypochondriac

I never see other bald women when I am out in public.

For the first several weeks of being bald, I kept my head covered in public all the time. Then it got hot. And I got sweaty. And the hat or scarf started to slide around on my head.

I just don't suffer in silence very well, so I've started taking off the head covering and offering up my head to the elements (or rather, to the air conditioning. I do keep my head protected from the sun).

The first time I exposed myself like this, I was out at a nice restaurant with friends. I felt naked and acutely self-conscious at first but became gradually more comfortable. My friend B. said afterwards that there was at least one woman in the restaurant that night, hot and sweating in her wig, who was wishing she had the confidence to do what I had done.

I wonder if that's true. Given the cancer stats, there should be many more bald women out there. I'm not particularly brave, nor do I enjoy drawing attention to myself. I just don't have a high tolerance for discomfort. Am I violating some taboo I didn't know about? Where are all the bald women?

On another note, the depressed immune system from chemotherapy is exacerbating my not-so-latent hypochondriac tendencies.

My spouse took my youngest son to the doctor last week with a suspected eye infection (another child had been sent home from day care with an infection earlier in the week and D.'s eyes were suspiciously puffy), which I became sure he had given to me. All morning I complained of itchy, watery eyes. I figured it was just a matter of hours until the infection would blind me completely.

I was stunned when my spouse called to say that D. did not have an eye infection. He had a mild case of tonsillitis. My eyes cleared up immediately.

At least I can't become convinced that I have tonsillitis, too. I had my tonsils out when I was eight.

1 comment:

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I am sure many of the bald women are under wigs and hats etc.

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