This is a treatment week and it's different every time. I get Herceptin over 90 minutes, Demerol to keep me from reacting to the Herceptin and Gravol (Dramamine in the US) to keep me from getting nauseated from the Demerol. Fun times (the actual infusion of Demerol can feel sort of fun. For a while).
Afterwards, I never know how I'm going to feel. I've had doctors express surprise that I feel lousy after getting Herceptin, yet the nurses do not. I choose to believe that it affects me intensely for the same reason I reacted so strongly - because it's a drug that works for me.
Some rounds are pretty good, the last one was awful and this one has been somewhere in between. I feel worse today than yesterday. I haven't forced myself to exercise and perhaps that's the wrong thing. I did write a lot yesterday and was very productive in a sedentary way. Maybe I overdid it.
I'm always second-guessing myself. Sometimes, it's no fun being in my own head.
At any rate, I am tired and cranky. I've skipped yoga but I will get out of the house to meet a friend for coffee and then take Daniel to drum lessons.
I've been working my way through Julia Cameron's Walking in this World. While it's not as life changing of as my experience of the Artist's Way, there are lots of interesting bits.
Today I had to do a very well-timed exercise. I had to list 10 things that make me feel more grounded. I ended up with 11.
Here they are, in no particular order:
1. Making lists.
2. Doing something with either of my kids, just for fun.
3. Hanging out with Leslie.
4. Reading a book and writing/talking about it.
5b Knitting with Karin and Deb.
6. Folding laundry.
7. Crossing things off my to-do list (see first item).
8. Taking a shower.
10. Burying my face in the crook of Tim's neck.
11. Going for a walk.
I feel more grounded already. Blogging must be my number 12.