I almost feel like myself again.
And it took surgery to remind that feeling like myself is not bad at all.
My head still hurts but I can live with that, knowing that it's likely temporary. I can't bring myself to get a hair cut (combing my hair really hurts), so I've decided that I'm growing it out. It looks pretty bad much of the time but I can live with that, too.
The best part is the return of my energy. I can do things again, around the house and out in the world. Last week I went swimming, to an exercise class at the Cancer Foundation, to two yoga classes (one restorative and one yin, so not too taxing) and I walked lots. That feels really good.
I'm also cooking more and taking my Weight Watchers membership seriously.
I think it's all about exerting some control over the things I can.
As for the things I can't control, I'm trying not to think too much about that. I had an MRI yesterday morning (8:20 on a Sunday morning seems very humane when you're also offered 7:00am on a Saturday. And I have friends who've had MRIs during the wee hours). I don't know who will give me results (the surgeon who ordered the test is notoriously hard to get in to see), how I'll get them or when they'll be ready but I'm working hard at figuring that out.
The odds are that all is well and that I can forget again (or at least try) for another couple of months.