Tuesday, January 18, 2011

riddle me this

I had a very vivid dream last night.

Perhaps you can help me understand it.

I was a participant in a "So You Think You Can Dance" type show and it was time for three "girls" (I know I am long past girlhood but that's how it was worded in my dream) to be voted off by the other contestants.

When it came time for the results to be read, I felt absolutely relaxed. I was very confident that I would not be cut - and yet my name was the second one read out. I was voted off the show.

While I was surprised at this, my disappointment was fleeting and almost immediately replaced by relief. Euphoria even. I wondered to myself if I'd been voted off because I was viewed as a threat but mostly I was just happy to get the hell out of there.

All of this had taken place in a doctor's office waiting room and the three of us who had been ousted were expected to leave right away. 

But it was winter and I had lots of gear to put on and then I couldn't find my mittens (this kind of thing happens to me in dreams a lot). I checked in the closet, under chairs and then finally in the bathroom. As I left, after giving up, I noticed that the show's producer (a bland, balding man with a pocket protector) was looking worried.

I quietly asked if I could help with anything and he said, "Not unless you can defuse a bomb."

To which I replied, "Well, actually I can."

When he looked skeptical, I handed him an invisible business card, which he took from me without hesitating. I told him to call the number on it to confirm that I was indeed an undercover agent.

I went to the guest room (yes, there was a guest room. It had a single bed and and a faded bed spread, carpeting and a big closet) to lie down and await the go ahead. I was visualizing defusing the bomb and mentally preparing himself.

A few minutes later, the producer came in a with a younger, heavily made up woman (as though dressed for success in a high end law firm). She was holding a set of rental car keys and said, with disgust, "The number you gave us was for a car dealership."

I was perplexed but determined to sort things out. I gestured towards the cell phone that the man was carrying and dialled the number on the car keys. The phone rang a couple of times and then an automated female voice said, "You are being connected to Leila."

The call was forwarded to Leila's voice mail and I said, "Leila it's Juno. I'm at the studio and there's a bomb here that needs defusing. I need you to get in touch and give the OK."

And then my alarm went off (in real life) and I woke up, very disappointed that I didn't get to defuse the bomb.

I told T. about the dream. He agreed that it was pretty weird. I instructed him to call me Juno all day today.

Armchair psychologists: I leave it to you. What the heck did this dream mean? What am I trying to tell myself?


Joanna said...

Clearly, you are being kicked out of the "C" club. You have been voted out. It shows your power over cancer.

laurie said...

Joanna, I like this answer very much.

deb said...

Maybe it's about letting go of other people's perceptions/expectations of you and embracing your true identity and talents.

Glad this was a dream rather than something you tried to play out in real life.

laurie said...

Deb - you are so smart. xo

Anonymous said...

Nobody but you can decipher your dream. Try thinking about each segment and how you FELT about it in the dream. Usually, your feelings will lead you to the understandings you seek.

But all that aside, it surely would mean, if it were my dream, that I'm eager to let my capabilities and blinding light out!

B in T

Lene Andersen said...

your dreams are weirder than mine and mine are really weird.

maggie said...

If this were my dream (and definitely your mileage may vary) ... I would now be asking myself what 'game' I have been playing that I imagine I would be disappointed to leave, but really would be relieved to be out of?

What bomb needs defusing in the doctor's office?

What would it mean for me to wake up before I could defuse the bomb? Have I stopped dreaming too soon?

I like Joanna's answer much better than mine. For me, if I dreamed this dream I would be in my doctor's office within the week, in real life, looking for what 'hidden bomb' I might want to defuse.

The few times in my life I have had vivid dream of this kind it has always contained a strong, fairly direct instruction for some 'next step' in my waking life. Is there anything in here that rhymes with some instruction that might be appropriate in your life? or makes a pun, rebus, or anagram of an appropriate instruction? My most useful dreams are full of those.

Wishing you plenty of love, light and laughter in all you do

laurie said...

Wow! I`m so glad I shared this dream. You guys are providing so much food for thought. It`s amazing.

nancyspoint said...

Your dreams sound way more interesting than mine! My take is that you are "finding" power within and discovering amazing abilities (symbolized by bomb difusing skills). You no longer worry about superficial things (symbolized by contests), and were therefore relieved to be voted out. The whole undercover thing, hmm, not sure about that part. Maybe says something about post chemo appearance...I feel like I'm in a disguise, or undercover myself now since I don't "recognize" my former self yet. Actually, I have no idea what any of it means! I do know it was a fun post to read!! Thanks for sharing.

laurie said...

Thanks Nancy. I hear you on feeling like I`m in disguise. I don`t much feel like a cancer patient...but this idea applies to other areas of my life, too.