Thursday, May 13, 2010
I had a very vivid dream last night. I had a arrived at a big hall full of people and remembered that I was there to give a speech. Then, as I approached the podium, I realized that I was completely unprepared - I had forgotten to prepare anything to say.
My stomach dropped down to my toes.
Now I have never, as far as I can recollect, forgotten to prepare for a speech or presentation. And while I am speaking at a fundraiser in Montreal in June and I am a bit nervous, I'm not really concerned that I won't be ready (not yet, anyway).
Life has been full of challenges lately and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. Some of these have been expected and others have come at me from out of the blue (or at least that's how it's felt). And I have definitely been feeling ill-equipped to respond.
When I was a little girl, I had to play dodgeball at every recess in Grades 4 and 5. Our teachers thought it kept us out of trouble but I just remember every recess as a misery. My stress levels would be very high as the balls came at me. I'd dodge a few, catch the odd one (mostly out of sheer luck) and get walloped hard, at least once in every fifteen minute game. Getting hit didn't hurt that badly (I was more stunned and winded than actually injured) but I always welcomed the moment that the bell would ring and I could return to the safety of the classroom.
Life (I'm sure you see where I'm going with this) has been a little like playing dodgeball lately. My skills have improved but I still don't enjoy playing that particular game. I'd rather take a walk along the canal (or a nap would be good).
For the most part, things are fine around here. But I wouldn't complain if life were just a tiny bit less interesting.