Friday, October 14, 2016

update: stable

I have now had 17 intrathecal (injected into my brain) treatments of the Herceptin. I'm getting used to it.

I had an brain MRI on September 15.

It showed all visible tumours to be stable. There were no new visible tumours. As I said, in an email to family:
"The brain MRI shows things to be stable. This is so much better than the alternative that we celebrated with gelato and a meal out.

It would have been nice to see some progress but this is still good. What's difficult to know is if I am just staying stable right now on my own or if the treatment is working. What is certain is that we will not be stopping for a little while - even if it is a grind, we have to assume that it's helping. Things are certainly not nearly as bad after 14 treatments as they could be by now."
The oncologist treating me said that it's likely that I am stable because of some treatment but we don't know if that's the Herceptin or the CyberKnife radiation I had in March. I do wish it were more obvious but I am happy to be here and to be feeling OK, all things considered.

I also had a spinal MRI on September 16. The report clearly stated that there was no visible sign of metastasis in my spine. This is good news. I'm still in a lot of pain but I don't need to worry that its caused by a new tumour.
"I have degenerative disc disease (which is a misnomer because it is not a disease and not bound to get worse). I will not hurt it by walking through pain or swimming. I'm going to see a physiotherapist and I have acquired a stability ball. My back pain has been a serious impediment to my quality of life so I want to make it better."
I also have neuropathy in my right foot and a lot of discomfort from headaches and all the weight I have gained. I miss my old body and the things it could do. I haven't given up hope that I will get some of that back but it's frustrating. 

On the other hand, I feel lighter these days. I spent much of the summer feeling like I was about to die and just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Nothing has changed really except that I seem to have decided to enjoy living. It's so much easier to exist this way.

At one of my treatments this summer, Tim said to me "I feel an obligation to have more fun." It's an odd way to put things but I really got it. We have, since that day, put in a concerted effort to have a better time. And I think we've been doing a pretty good job.


Marysandy said...

Stable is very good, Laurie. Enjoying life is something many healthy people are unable to do; please give all of us some direction on how to do it. I love to read what you write and I'm sure a large number of your readers would agree. Your messages are a life force; your quests are interesting and create/sustain community; your messages to others in difficulty are filled with humanity. Keep writing and we'll continue reading and enjoying.

BTW, I think you did better at the cottage than we did with Sweeney Todd at the Shaw, and especially with the pies. Hope C and her crew enjoyed Ottawa, Kearney and wherever they went before or after their visit with you. Tell me all about it the next time we meet.



Peter Rukavina said...

*I feel an obligation to have more fun." – this I know.

laurie said...

Peter, I know you do. You guys are an inspiration in the seeking balance and finding the fun and interesting in the world.

Mary, this is a beautiful message and something I needed to hear. I was just journalling about how I am filled with regrets that I have not done more with my life...xoxo

Chris said...

Be sure to live up to your fun-having obligations. Can't let that slide. I hope the physio helps in that regard.

zoom said...

It's really hard dealing with multiple concurrent medical issues. Not just physically, but mentally. It can lead to a crisis of spirit, in which optimism feels misguided. It sounds like you're coming out of that place and heading for a happier one. I remember when I was going through degenerative disc issues and back pain at the same time as breast cancer - even though the breast cancer was more threatening, the back pain was far more debilitating. It really took center stage in terms of how much it affected my day-to-day life. After I had the back surgery and got back on my feet again, everything else felt more manageable. Laurie, I'm glad you're stable and feeling lighter, and I hope you get your back issues resolved soon. I think it'll make a world of difference. xox

laurie said...

Zoom, you have got it right for sure. The back pain affects my quality of life, on a day to day basis, more than the cancer - and that is saying something. You went through such a difficult time. I'm so glad to know that you are on the other side. xo

Diana Ermel said...

I am so glad you are stable. Love the pictures.

ogie herbal cure said...

Greeting everyone here Am here to share my experience..Happiness all over my heart, i never believed that i could ever be happy like this with the love of my life, All thanks to God almighty for making this great man Dr.ojie for helping me. i have been married to Johnson for 2 years until a day came when my husband Johnson traveled to Austria for business, then when he came back his attitude towards me turned to a very bad and rude one,i was surprised,cause i never did anything wrong to him. then a day came when My Johnson told me that he tired of the relationship that i should let him live his live the way he wants to, so i was surprised and was short of words, i never new he has a girl friend in Austria, which he has been hiding from me for years, he relocated to Austria without telling me, that was how Johnson left me and our son in London and never bothered to call me nor text me, i was in pain for good 1 year and some months i never taught of any man cause i loved him so much with all my life, and i tried just to reach to see if i can be his second wife if he has already gotten married to another lady, i love him so much that every minutes he is always in my mind, so their was a day i was browsing with phone and i saw a lady testimony on how she got her lover back with the help of a man named Dr.ojie who has been helping a lot of people here all over the globe , i was surprised cause i have never come across such thing before, so that was how i took Dr.ojie's contact immediately i gave him a call and told him my problem, he told me not to worry about any thing that i shall have my man back to my arms within 24 hours, i was like okay, let me watch and see, so the next morning i got a call from somebody saying my love, i was like who is this i ended the call and the number called again surprisingly it was Johnson he was pleading crying on the phone that i should forgive him, i taught i was dreaming until i realized that is not dreams, Johnson was crying, pleading and begging immediately a tears of joy rolled down from my eyes,is this real? so that was how i accepted him and now we are living happily together here the London , and now am so happy . all thanks and to Dr.Ogie for helping a lot, if you need his help you can contact him via Or what'sapp him on this contact +2348074609849

ogie herbal cure said...

Hello everyone @ there i am here to let you all know that there is a cure for herpes diseases by the help of Dr.Ojie,i was diagnosed with Herpes for 2 years ago i lived
in pain with the knowledge that i wasn’t going to ever be well again i
contacted so many herbal doctors on this issue and wasted a large sum of
money but my condition never got better i was determined to get my life
back so one day i saw mr Fedelix post on how Dr.Ojie saved him from the
VIRUS with herbal medicine i contacted Dr.Ojie on his email address we spoke on the
issue i told him all that i went through and he told me not to worry that
everything will be fine again so he prepared the medicine and send it to me
through courier service and told me how to use it,after 14days of usage I
went to see the doctor for test ,then the result was negative,am the
happiest woman on earth now. this testimony is real.thanks to Dr.Ojie God
bless you. you can also reach him on his whatsApp number +2348032460627..

sami45466565 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
sami45466565 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
sami45466565 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
sami45466565 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.