Wednesday, November 11, 2009
my husband's chest
You don't need to tell me how lucky I am.
I have a roof over my head, great medical care and I'm surrounded by people who love me.
And don't think I forget how very lucky I am to be alive at all. Why did I get to go into remission? Why me? I am indeed very fortunate.
But there are times when I do feel sad that I will never put this cancer behind me. I feel the toll ongoing treatment takes on my body and my emotional well being.
So last night I stood in my kitchen, with my head on my husband's chest (we say we were built for each other. My head lands flat on his chest and tucks under his chin). He put his arms around me and we just stood there, breathing together.
He didn't need to say anything. He understood my frustration. Only a few hours before I was finallly feeling sharp and healthy and energized. And then, after chemo, I stood in his arms, feeling sick and more than a little shaky.
He didn't remind me how lucky I am.
But I know it.
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10 comments:
Hugs.
He sounds like a good man, but he's lucky to have you too...
I just wish the researchers would develop treatments that didn't take such an enormous physical and emotional toll on patients. It's bad enough having the disease . . . but then to have to endure the side effects to treat the disease . . .
You don't always have to be up. You don't always have to keep thinking how lucky you are to be alive - how fortunate it is to have these treatments. It's crappy to have to endure them in order to stay alive.
Not sure what I'm trying to say except what Brenda said, it stinks. But you do what you have to do. And, you do it pretty well, Laurie. You do pretty well.
Sending you healing energy to help you get through this round of side effects.
I would just like to let you know that I think you are an amazing person. Anyone who has to suffer through this monster deserves an award. I think it's awesome that you do this and as a review I just read says, "give meaning to the stark facts of breast cancer." I myself have an extensive family history of breast cancer...we pass on the BRACA1 gene and have for years. Ever since I was little breast cancer has affected me in a way I cannot describe and though I have not personally contracted it myself yet, it means a lot to me when people do things like this. You are really making a difference, and spreading awareness. In case you were interested in knowing, I found your site through a database at my college - which obviously means that other people think you are amazing as well.
That's it...Sorry it was so long.
Chelsey Smith
smithcm193@potsdam.edu
You are both so fortunate to have each other. You inspire me to live and love just like you do.
Hi Laurie.... got here from the Bloggers breakfast.
I loved your post and how you described everything... It's just love has to be sometimes: no words, just a hug, just knowing the feeling. Sounds good to me.
I have been blogging for almost 4 years now (yikes) and this may be the nicest, most thoughtful, meaningful and moving set of comments I have ever received. Thank you.
A good partner is so wonderful. I feel similarly lucky to have my husband, who makes impossible things feel manageable.
Your Tim is just like mine. I "fit" perfectly in his chest too. We're both very lucky women :)
It was rather interesting for me to read the post. Thank author for it. I like such themes and anything that is connected to them. I definitely want to read more soon.
It was certainly interesting for me to read that article. Thanks for it. I like such themes and anything that is connected to them. I definitely want to read a bit more soon.
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