in other news

I was felled by a yucky stomach bug this week and really didn't feel much like blogging. It's the price I pay for a weakened immune system. My older son is home sick today, too. Not sure what his excuse is.

Also, my spouse is in Florida. As far as I know, he's not sick.

To compensate for my bitterness at having been struck down during a week of single parenting (I know, some of you have to deal with this kind of thing all the time), I thought I would show off a little.

Here is my latest clapotis. I made it for my mom.



She thinks she's not very photogenic but I think she's lovely.

I made this thing on tiny (2.75mm, if you care about these things) needles and a laceweight (read very fine) yarn. It nearly killed me.

I was working on it during chemo one day and one of the pharmacists, herself a knitter, shook her head and exclaimed, "You must really love your mother!"

I do.

And while I wouldn't necessarily recommend doing this as a laceweight (not just because it takes forever but because fixing errors is a painstaking process) but I am very pleased with the end results. The yarn is an alpaca and silk blend from Knit Picks and the scarf is soft, airy and has a lovely drape.

I think I am addicted to the clapotis. Although I'll do it in a thicker yarn and on bigger needles (the original was done in my much thicker yarn). Doing this on sock yarn will feel like a breeze.

And did you note the state of my walls?

I have been stripping wallpaper. It's part of a project that a friend is helping with (I know that should be "with which a friend is helping" but that felt awkward. Just want you sticklers to know that I am aware that I'm taking liberties). She offered to "paint a room" in my house in exchange for a bunch of kids' stuff we'd outgrown.

I definitely got the better end of that deal. We got a bunch of stuff out of our house and she has already devoted two afternoons to scraping the wallpaper in my hallway - on two floors and up the stairs.

I have to admit that I have never undertaken this kind of project before and I'm actually enjoying it. On our second afternoon we used "Concentrated Wallpaper Remover" from the hardware store and the hard-to-scrape stuff just melted off. Very cool. I hope it's not too terribly toxic. There didn't seem to be any fumes. It kind of smelled like dish soap.

There's another hour of stripping to do and then I gather everything has to be washed, then primed then painted. And then it will all look so good that the rest of the house will seem really dingy in contrast.

Finally, I feel like I can't conclude this post without mentioning the horrific situation in Haiti. Please give what you can, to a reputable organization.

When the Yarn Harlot sent out the "knit signal" last week, I was prompted to direct my money to Médecins Sans Frontières (Doctors Without Borders). They are already set up to help and do excellent work aroun the world.

Click here to donate in Canada, the United States or everywhere else in the world (find your country in the menu on the left). The Harlot mentioned in her post that it is most helpful if you direct your donation to "Emergency Relief" or "Greatest Needs" instead of to a specific project.

canada reads 2010

Last year, I challenged myself to read all the books selected for Canada Reads 2009. There was only one that I didn't finish (Mercy Among The Children by David Adams Richards) but that was because it was just too relentlessly depressing for me. I had to call it at page 64.

The book that won, The Book Of Negroes (published as Someone Knows My Name in most other countries) by Lawrence Hill had been my favourite read of 2008, so I was happy to see it selected as the winner. I also really enjoyed both runners up - The Outlander by Gil Adamson and and Fruit: A Novel About A Boy And His Nipples by Brian Francis.

It was so interesting to listen to the debate. I had been sure that The Outlander would come second and was surprised when it was beaten by Fruit, which I had read very quickly.

But you know what? A year later, Fruit has stayed with me. It was funny, yes, but also poignant and powerful in a way that I didn't realize as I read it. A year later, and I can still recall all the characters and events very vividly.

This year there are again five books to read. I've already read one of them (Fall On Your Knees by Ann-Marie MacDonald, which was brutal but I loved it) and I'm about half way through Nikolski by Nicholas Dickner (I'm reading it in the original French, as I did with last year's La grosse femme d'à coté est enceinte, by Michel Tremblay and published in English as The Fat Woman Next Door Is Pregnant).

Last year, I came across a Canada Reads challenge hosted by Melanie and Alexis of Roughing It In The Books. It was fun and I've signed up again this year. To participate, send an email to melanie AT roughingitinthebooks DOT com. All are welcome. Last year, I won a prize (thanks to Melanie's daughter for drawing my name out of a hat. She chewed on it a little first. It was sweet).

To do the Roughing It In The Books challenge, all books must be read by March 6. Canada Reads will take place from March 8-12 on CBC radio. If you live outside the listening area, you can download the podcasts or catch it all online.

Shall we read some books together?

The Books:

Fall On Your Knees by Ann-Marie MacDonald, defended by Perdita Felicien

The Jade Peony by Wayson Choy, defended by Samantha Nutt

Generation X by Douglas Coupland, defended by Roland Pemberton

Good to a Fault by Marina Endicott, defended by Simi Sara

Nikolski by Nicholas Dickner, defended by Michel Vézina

inspired

Last week, a comment was left on my blog that really moved me. It linked to BrCa: Blog on Risk, Cancer and Anxiety (it's an excellent resource if you are interested in learing more about genetic testing and the genes that carry breast cancer).

It seems that the 29 year old woman who writes the blog has been reading mine for a long time. Last week was the first time that she left a comment and it was to tell me about a post she'd written about my blog, called Blogs that inspire me: Not Just About Cancer.

I was so touched by this post. And so pleased to learn that some of my writing has been helpful to others looking for answers.

I write to fill my own needs, of course but it does motivate me to keep going when I learn that I have been striking a chord with others.

the world needs a little more silliness

Formspring is a nifty new site that allows folks to ask each other questions. I'm still figuring it out but it seems like harmless fun.

Go ahead, ask me anything: http://formspring.me/lauriek

I don't promise to answer every question but I will answer the ones that intrigue me.

Have you tried out Formspring? What do you think?

(Oh, and in case you're wondering, this post was not prompted by any contact from Formspring. I just read about it a few times and my curiosity was peaked enough to try it out).

coming soon: 10th annual conference for young women affected by breast cancer!

Last winter, I was fortunate to receive a scholarship to attend the 9th Annual Conference For Young Women Affected By Breast Cancer in Dallas, Texas.

It was an amazing experience.

I expected to learn a lot and I really, really did.

I hoped to be inspired and I was, beyond my wildest expectations.

I didn't think about it being fun but it really, really was.

The sessions I attended were informative, entertaining and gave me great hope. I met some terrific women. And more than once, I laughed until I cried (I will not soon forget the pajama party hosted by Pure Romance. The experience defies explanation but they're doing it again this year, so come and join in the fun). I came home with a pink cowboy hat and a renewed determination to live well.

This year is the 10th anniversary of the conference and it will take place from February 26-28 in Atlanta, Georgia. If you were diagnosed with breast cancer before the age of 45, this conference is for you. Last year, there were more than 1,000 women in attendance from all over the world who have been affected by breast cancer in a multitude of ways. It meant so much to me to see all these beautiful women, at different stages of treatment and to see other women with metastasis living their lives to the fullest.

It was a great conference, co-sponsored by Living Beyond Breast Cancer and the Young Survival Coalition, two groups that do excellent work.

I have a scholarship to go again this year. If you have been on the fence about attending - hop off and come join me.

If you are planning to go, leave a message in the comments or send me an email (laurie dot kingston at gmail dot com) or a direct message on Twitter (lauriek). Or if you're at the conference and you spot a blonde woman with red glasses alternating between knitting and taking notes, come on over and say 'hi.'

survivors' review

I have a guest post up at Survivors' Review, a wonderful blog that "encourages the creative expression of cancer survivors."

My piece, which is in the section called "Write Now!" is about my take on the importance of writing for cancer survivors and includes a few of my favourite (and completely unoriginal) writing prompts. And, I have to admit, that when I look at the list on the bottom of the page of former contributors to the column, I am tickled, well - tickled pink, I guess.

My book also tops the list in the Resources section of the Review.

I feel good about this. It's a nice thing to have happen at the end of a hard week.

keeping it specific in 2010

It's time to dip my toe back into the regular writing of this blog by letting you know that I have scaled way back on the New Year's resolutions this year.

In 2008, I had a list.

Last year, I resolved to "treat my body as well as I treat my mind." Since I gained at least 10 pounds (I'm afraid to get on the scale) and even more than that since my breast cancer diagnosis in early 2006, abandoned yoga and did no strength or core training, I was inclined to view this year as an abject failure on the resolution front. But then my spouse reminded me that I rode my bike pretty much everywhere between April and the first snow. Also, I ran regularly throughout the summer (this was brought to a halt by H1N1 but I'll start again) and cooked more than I ever have in my life.

So I've decided to tell myself that I did OK.

But this year, I have decided to be very realistic and specific in my goal. This year, I resolve to make soup.

Yesterday's soup was lentil carrot, from "Cooking With Foods That Fight Cancer."

Soup-making is creative and provides right-brain stimulating repetitive motion. Soup is generally healthful and inexpensive to make. But really, I just feel like making soup.

I'm going to make soup at least 20 times this year (every other week, less in the summer).

Have you made any goals for 2010?

happy new year

May 2010 bring us all peace, joy and inspiration.

beginning to feel a glimmer...

better than yoga

Lucy could give lessons in how to relax.

time passes

oh oh...

"CT scan radiation may cause cancers"

but on the other hand

"Study: Coffee and tea may lower diabetes risk"

melancholy meme

These are questions from the Proust quiz in a recent issue of Vanity Fair magazine. I stole the idea from a friend (she did it on Facebook, so I won't identify her here) and I've been thinking of it ever since.

It was interesting to do. My answers reflect the fact that I have been in a somewhat melancholy mood of late. I tried to answer without censoring myself.

Feel free to answer the questions in the comments or to link to your on blog if you do it there.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Being somewhere beautiful, being with someone I love. Happiness can come out of nowhere. I am better trained to notice it now.

What is your greatest fear?
That I will die and my kids will forget me.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Lack of discipline and the fear that causes it.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Intolerance of difference.

On what occasion do you lie?
Sometimes to protect others' feelings. Occasionally to protect myself.

What is your greatest extravagance?
It used to be shoes. I do like nice glasses but that's only every couple of years. I'd have to say that now, it's eating out and yarn.

What is your current state of mind?
A little fragile, anxious and blue. Figuring out how to get past it.

What is the quality you most like in a man?
Intelligence. The ability to laugh at himself. And if he's in love with me, that's pretty attractive, too. OK, so that's three. I did say that I lack discipline.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Intelligence, strength and a sense of humour.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Lately, it's "Oh, for pity's sake!" Trying to excise the potty mouth.

When and where were you happiest?
No particular moment in time. In PEI with T., in London with S., at the family cottage, in the arboretum with the dogs...

Who are your favorite writers?
Depends on my mood. John Steinbeck, Jane Austen, Joseph Boyden, Sarah Waters...and lots of mystery novelists too.

Which talent would you most like to have?
I wish I could sing.

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
I'd make us all appreciate what we have.

If you died and came back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
A well-loved dog with a stay at home alpha human and a family that loves me, walks me and feeds me well. In other words, I would come back as one of my dogs.

What do you dislike most about your appearance?
Where to begin? Trying to be healthier in my attitude about this. But my weight (exacerbated by lymphedema) is getting me down lately. And it would be nice to have my breast back.

Where would you like to live?
Somewhere where there is no winter.

What is your most treasured possession?
If you agree with me that the dogs are family members and not possessions, then I guess that would be my raven ring.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Being 38 years old and learning that your liver is riddled with tumours and you don't have long to live. Needing morphine to control the pain for months. Having your heart ache on behalf of those who love you, especially your kids.
And life really is pretty good when you climb out of those depths.

What do you most value in your friends?
Loyalty, love and and humour.

What are your favorite names?
Sacha
Daniel
Katya

What is it that you most dislike?
People who think they have already learned all there is to know. And cancer. I don't like cancer either.

What is your greatest regret?
Not maintaining friendships with some people who were very important to me.

How would you like to die?
Painlessly and after having lived a long life.

What is your motto?
Be good.

writing your way through breast cancer

It's been two days since chemo, so I feel lousy and have the attention span of a gnat.

It works out well for me, therefore, that I have something I've been meaning to share with you all for a while now.

I really like the Philadelphia based organization Living Beyond Breast Cancer. I've been fortunate enough to attend two of their own conferences (one called "News You Can Use" and one specifically for women living with metastasis) and the Annual Conference For Young Women Affected By Breast Cancer, which they co-sponsor (last year's was in Dallas and I'm applying for a grant, in the hopes of being able to attend in Atlanta this year. It will be the 10 year anniversary of the conference).

A little while ago, LBBC contacted me to see if I would be willing to be interviewed for their Winter 2009/2010 newsletter about "writing your way through breast cancer." I didn't hesitate, as this is a subject about which I am passionate.

You can read the interview on their web site. I am also please to not that they have listed "Not Done Yet" under the heading "Creative Coping: 10 Publications To Motivate You."

hello again

I'm back.

All is well here, I just used up all my writing mojo in November writing a novel (more on that experience in a future post).

Then I took a few days off to hang out with a wonderful friend and, well not write for a few days,

And while I was gone from the blog November 24th (the anniversary of my diagnosis of metastatic breast cancer) and December 2nd (the anniversary of the night I found the first lump) came and went. I noted both events in passing, took the time to breathe deeply and be grateful, and then got on with my day.

It's been four years since I found the lump. It's been three since the cancer spread to my liver. And it's been two and a half years since my first clean scan.

I had an appointment with my oncologist yesterday. I had nothing to tell him. He said, "Shall we keep dragging you in here every few months just to say 'hi'?"

I readily agreed.

I have chemo next week. They've been building a new treatment centre for what seems like years. I have often jokingly pointed in the direction of the new building and said, "They're building that for me."

Yesterday, I discovered that the new building is open and the chemo room has been moved. No more listening to the sounds of construction during treatment. No more listening to the intimate details of the constitutional issues of the patient beside me. There will be a little more light and a little more room and hopefully, a little less noise.

I'm kind of excited.

And yes, that is somewhat ironic. I have lived long enough to be excited about getting chemo in the new building.

from xkcd.com.

15 movies that stick with you

This is a meme that has been doing the rounds on Facebook. I posted it there yesterday but I am too tired and lazy to write anything original today thought it worth sharing with the rest of the world

Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen movies you've seen that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes.

You can participate in the comments or leave a link to your own blog.

1. Gallipoli
2. Fast Times at Ridgemont High
3. An Officer an A Gentleman
4. El Norte
5. The Killing Fields
6. Swimming to Cambodia
7. The Princess Bride
8. Grease
9. Priscilla Queen of the Desert
10. The Breakfast Club
11. Rachel Getting Married
12. History of the World Part 1
13. The Producers (the original version)
14. The Thomas Crowne Affair
15. Mamma Mia

my husband's chest

You don't need to tell me how lucky I am.

I have a roof over my head, great medical care and I'm surrounded by people who love me.

And don't think I forget how very lucky I am to be alive at all. Why did I get to go into remission? Why me? I am indeed very fortunate.

But there are times when I do feel sad that I will never put this cancer behind me. I feel the toll ongoing treatment takes on my body and my emotional well being.

So last night I stood in my kitchen, with my head on my husband's chest (we say we were built for each other. My head lands flat on his chest and tucks under his chin). He put his arms around me and we just stood there, breathing together.

He didn't need to say anything. He understood my frustration. Only a few hours before I was finallly feeling sharp and healthy and energized. And then, after chemo, I stood in his arms, feeling sick and more than a little shaky.

He didn't remind me how lucky I am.

But I know it.

aware of the irony

Life is funny.

This morning was perfect weather for a bike ride. The sun was out and the temperature climbed to 17C (that's 62.6 in American). It was my first time on the bike in more than a week - since before the plague toppled my family, like a series of dominoes.

It was a fun ride, and I didn't even mind the big hill I have to climb on my way to the hospital. I arrived twenty minutes after I set out, a little sweaty and with my heart pumping. As I locked up and headed into the cancer centre, I noted with pleasure that I hadn't been coughing.

"It feels good to be healthy."

I very nearly said it out loud.

I was suddenly struck by the absurdity of my situation. Here I was, going to get my bloodwork done the day before chemo and thinking about how healthy I am.

Three years ago, at almost exactly this time of year, I learned that my cancer had become metastatic. I don't think I could have imagined this day, when I'd be riding my bike up Smythe Rd. and thinking about how healthy I am.

So, as I was saying at the beginning of this post - life really is pretty funny.

Cross-posted to Mothers With Cancer.

first one, then the other

My older son went back to school this morning. I did a little happy dance in the hall after he left. It's not that I mind having him around but the kid has to go back out into the world some time, you know?

And then of course, my six year old woke up with a sore throat. He really doesn't seem too sick to me (he had the first part of the H1N1 shot last week) but these days, I prefer to err on the side of caution (we are relieved that there is no coughing, as D. has asthma and things can get scary pretty quickly).

We've been hanging out in our pajamas on the couch. I don't know if this will help me reach my deadlines (or my NaNoWriMo goal) but it's pretty sweet.

things i've learned in the last 7 days about h1n1 (and other things)

My older son and I were both sick last week and are bouncing back rather nicely. The experience taught me a few things, though:

1- The illness varies in its intensity. We both ended up with fairly mild cases.

2- My doctor is extremely efficient and her office is very well organized. This ended up making a very big difference for us.

3- Tamiflu, if administered within the first 48 hours of the onset of symptoms, can greatly alleviate those symptoms.

4- Oral Tamiflu can make you feel very, very queasy.

5- You don't always get a fever when you have the illness.

6- If you have any of the symptoms, you should assume you have the illness.

7- You will not get tested for H1N1 unless you land in the hospital.

8- Even if you think you've had swine flu, you should still get the vaccine, unless it was confirmed with a test.

9- The hysteria around this is getting to be a little overwhelming. Remember: Most folks who get H1N1 do not get seriously ill.

10- If you are having trouble breathing, you should go your hospital's emergency room.

11- If you have been running a fever for more than 48 hours, you should see your doctor.

12- Judging by the line-ups in Ottawa, there are a lot of people who live here who fall into high risk groups.

13- My six year old knows how to come through in the crunch. He stood in line for 5 and a half hours. He was patient and good humoured the whole time (my spouse was with him). And then he got a needle at the end. The only thing he asked (at regular intervals) was if he could go to St. Hubert when they were done.

Even though it was well past his bed time, T. took him there when they were finished (I forgot to ask him if he had beer with his chicken). And since St-Hubert now has nut free desserts, he topped off the meal with a brownie and ice cream.

And then we bought him a new game for his DS.

14- If you leave me a link saying that the vaccine is poisonous or that I am a dupe of the pharmaceutical industry, I will not be impressed. Chemotherapy is poison, too and it has saved my life. There really is such a thing as a "necessary evil."

I won't add my rant about how this pandemic is being mis-managed by all levels of government because I wouldn't be able to stop.

I will share Rick Mercer's rant with you, though.

worth 1,000 words

how cool is this?

Yesterday morning, I got a call from Oresta. She told me that she had read my article in the Centretown Buzz and wanted to reach out to me.

Even though I love her store and spa (I asked for gift certificates for Christmas last year), I was not on her mailing list and had not received the letter that I posted above.

It's hard to read, so here is the text, in full:

OCTOBER is BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH

Pinkwasher: (pink’-wah-sher) noun. A company that pur-
ports to care about breast cancer by promoting a pink
ribboned product, but manufactures products that are
linked to the disease.

Dear clients,

ORESTA organic skin care confectionery is committed to providing organic spa
treatments and to supporting companies that manufacture truly pure and organic
products. We believe in beauty without compromising your health.

We have been touched by cancer in our families and with our clientele - as
cancer survivors and undergoing cancer therapy. The prevailing comment of clients
who have come in for a spa treatment while undergoing therapy was how nurturing a
visit to ORESTA organic skin care confectionery was for them.

We have wanted to help the cause but have struggled with a way to do this.
Do we donate a % of sales? a % of services? Do we fundraise? For which organiza-
tion or foundation? In the end, what feels right for us, is doing what we do best:
pampering.

If you, a friend or loved one is undergoing cancer therapy and would enjoy an
organic facial treatment, please contact us. We are committed to treating one
woman per week to a complimentary ORESTA treatment.

Oresta was calling to offer me a facial (I am going on Friday) but I offered to blog about this offer. She asked me to clarify that she and her staff will be offering this service to women undergoing treatment throughout the year - not just during October.

I am impressed and touched beyong words. Have any of you ever heard of anyone else doing this?

I told my spouse that, by coincidence, I had written in journal that morning that I would really like a facial. He said, "Tomorrow, could you write that you would really like a home renovation?"

chemotherapy and the H1N1 vaccine

As someone in ongoing chemotherapy, I have a compromised immune system. This puts me at increased risk for contracting H1N1.

I am among the priority groups established by the City of Ottawa, as is my family, and were it not for the hours long lineups (several centres closed the lineups by late afternoon), I would have had my shot yesterday.

I did call the oncologist yesterday to ask about interactions between Neupogen (the drug I take after chemo to boost my white blood cell count and fight infection). When I didn't hear back immediately I checked with the cancer centre receptionist who, told me (after checking with someone) that I should go ahead and get the shot.

Today, the nurse who works with my oncologist called and told me to wait.

The reasoning goes as follows:

Chemotherapy suppresses the immune system.

The flu shot is meant to boost it.

Having the H1N1 shot (or any other flu vaccine) too close to chemotherapy lessens the effectiveness of the shot.

Those of us getting chemo are instructed to wait to the end of the chemo cycle, get our bloodwork done (to ensure that our counts are high enough) and then get the shot the day before the next round of chemo.

This means that I will be waiting until November 10 for my H1N1 vaccine.

And washing my hands. A lot.

beautiful night

Thanks to everyone who came to the Toronto launch last night.

My face hurts from smiling and my heart is so full it could burst.

And the bookstore sold out the books.

launching

I'm off to Toronto today to celebrate my book! If you're in town, come see me at the Toronto Women's Bookstore.

We'll have a little nosh, a little drink, I'll read from the book...I think it will be a nice evening.

Meanwhile, here's a link to a blog called "Incredible Women," where I am honoured to say that I am being featured today.

milestone reviewed

I am featured on a blog called "Women at Forty" today.

When I was aked to submit a post, I thought it would be appropriate to re-visit a post I wrote on the eve of my fortieth birthday.

I'm looking forward to writing my fiftieth birthday post. Only eight more years and countless clean scans to go.

de-bunking the pink

"Three years ago, I saw a story on the news while I was at the gym. An investigative feature on the breast cancer awareness contributions that various corporations pledged during Breast Cancer Awareness Month found that most of these promotions led to increased sales and windfall profits that dwarfed the piddling donations that the extra sales generated. Until that moment, I was gung-ho about buying products marked with pink ribbons."

And so begins the best article I have ever read on the subject of the pink-washing of October (and not just because the author says you should all go out and buy my book). Suzanne Reisman hits all the bases in this piece and does it with eloquence and a sense of humour.

If you have ever struggled to understand why some of us object to pinxploitation (I just made that word up), your questions will be answered.

advice (with the benefit of hindsight)

Last week, the Centretown Buzz (an Ottawa community paper) asked me to write the article that "I wish I could have read when I was first diagnosed."

It's on the front page of this week's issue, and begins like this:

On December 1^st, 2005, I found a lump in my breast, as I was getting undressed. One month later, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was 38 years old, with two young kids and a very hectic life. I felt completely blind-sided.

Almost four years later, and with the benefit of hindsight, I share some advice for others who find themselves in my situation.

As I looked back on the last few years, the following key points best summarize my advice:

Bring someone with you to appointments, especially in the beginning.

Be your own advocate.

Be nice to the admin staff and nurses.

Don’t compare yourself to anyone else.

Let others help you.

Never give up hope.

The entire article is online, so you can read it for yourself.

Let me know what you think. And if you've been there, please don't hesitate to share some of your hard-earned experience.

will you be there?

Just a reminder to anyone who lives in Toronto or anywhere nearby or who would like to visit Toronto that my book party (postponed in June because of the flu) has been re-scheduled for October 22, from 7-9 pm.

I have been washing my hands lots and lots so that this overdue celebration can happen.


Also, I have been getting lots of interesting comments and messages in answer to my post on internet community. It's not too late to jump into the discussion.

a relative accomplishment

I just got back from riding my bike to and from the hospital to have blood work done. It's pretty cold out there (3C or 37.5F), so I was feeling pretty tough - like a real cyclist with frozen fingertips.

When I came to the big hill just before the hospital, I passed a man riding on the sidewalk. "it's pretty steep," he said, as I edged past.

"It is," I laughed. I admit that I was feeling pretty smug.

Then he took the wind out of my sails. "At 85 years old, it keeps getting a little harder."

When we reached the top of the hill, we had to stop at the lights. He kept chatting, while I had to gulp for air before I could respond.

When the lights turned green, he sailed past me, seemingly fully recovered from the climb.

Maybe I need more air in my tires. Yeah, that's it. Or maybe I need to tackle that hill more often.

around the table and around the world

Boy, am I dopey today.

We had our Thanksgiving dinner last night - turkey, mashed potatoes and stuffing (probably the best I have ever had) smothered in gravy. A beautiful salad with a basil and feta dressing. Lots of wine. And Guinness chocolate cake, pumpkin pie, whipped cream, ice cream and chocolate sauce for dessert (I don't think anybody actually had all of those things).

And a truly lovely group of people.

It was perfect.

Today, I am trying to make notes for a presentation I am giving on Thursday. I need to talk about my transformation from individual cancer patient to a member of a vibrant and supportive community.

I had lots of thoughts about this on the week end, when I really didn't have time to write them down. Today, my brain seems to have been replaced with mashed potatoes and gravy (Mmm. Leftovers).

It's an interesting question, though. My online community (which consists of folks I have met in real life and others I probably will only ever know online) has been a key source of information and support over the years.

So, help me out here. What role does your online community play in your life? How did you come to build these virtual relationships? Does the internet help sustain relationships with friends?

I'm not asking you to do my work for me (really, I swear). I'm just curious how you react to the words "network" and "community" and how they apply to your online life.

nothing ventured...

I have decided that I won't be doing NaBloPoMo this year.

My heart just isn't in it. This is in part because two of my NaBlo compadres have died. It just won't be the same without Sara and Emily. I miss their voices so much and I just don't feel like blogging every day without them at my virtual side.

But November can be a hard month for me and I still need something to distract and consume me.

I also need motivation to return to the scary (for me) world of fiction writing. I got so much done during my online writing course last year but have done nothing since submitting my outline for a novel, as my final assignment on December 31.

A few weeks ago Rachael suggested to Zoom that she try NaNoWriMo. And that got me thinking. If structure is what I need and my inner critic is my worst enemy then what better solution than to crank out 50,000 words in 30 days?

They don't even have to be good words (what matters with Nano is quantity over quality).
And before I know it, November will be over and I will have a whole bunch of words on paper.

Sounds like fun, right? Right?

S. is joining me, as part of the NaNo Young Writers' Program. I'm very pleased.

random book

Last week, I saw my book on the shelf at Chapters. I had walked in the back door of the store on Rideau Street, which leads straight into the health section. And there it was - or rather there they were. Three copies of my book just sitting on a shelf in a book store. It was a thrill to see it there. I had to call my spouse right away to tell him.

I had to go back to the same Chapters three days later (I had left my glasses in the store). I couldn't help going back to visit my book. There were only two copies left! They had sold one! I took a couple of steps away and then went back to pull a copy out so that the title page faced towards the front.

My heart still belongs to independent book stores, though. They are owned by booklovers, have knowledgeable staff and are the most supportive of writers. If you can buy my book through your local independent, I strongly encourage it. And if your local bookstore carries my book, let me know. I'll put their logo and a link in my sidebar.

I am quoted in a recent BlogHer article by web teacher Virginia DeBolt. Her post, "Self-Promote Your Book Using The Internet" has some really interesting ideas. I had never thought of doing a book trailer, for example. Of course, I still need to write content for the book's web site.

I also want to remind those of you in Toronto that the Not Done Yet launch will take place at the Toronto Women's Bookstore (73 Harbord, near Spadina) on October 22 from 7-9pm.

really random

I had to turn on the heat today. I was hoping to wait until later in the month but the temperature dropped to 12C (53.6) inside the house.

Late last week, I became convinced that something had crawled into our chimney or heating ducts and died. We have since had both cleaned. No dead thing was found but the smell is gone, too.

I've been watching more television lately than I have in years (when I could go weeks without watching television). I have become hooked on So You Think You Can Dance (US and Canadian versions) and Glee. I also have just discovered House. I've clearly been missing out on something good, there.

After yesterday's grumpy post, I want to say that I think there are lots of groups out there doing good work on behalf of cancer patients. I like Breast Cancer Action (although some chapters are better than others), the Canadian Breast Cancer Network, Living Beyond Breast Cancer and the Young Survival Coalition (they are behind the Annual Conference For Young Women Affected By Breast Cancer). Can you suggest others?

I also like to support my local cancer centre. I felt torn about this, as I believe that it's government's job to fund hospitals (through my tax dollars) but as a consumer, I know how many services are desperately needed.

I had a wonderful four day visit with my friend, K. We spent every waking moment together and still the visit felt too short. We were room-mates at Pearson College (K. is from the Netherlands). I nearly fell over when she pointed out that we met 25 years ago this month.

I realized when I was with K. that it was really important to me that she she appreciate all the things that I love about Ottawa. My heart soared when we were walking along Richmond Street in the rain and she announced how much she likes it here.

We hung out in the Glebe, Westboro and the Byward Market. We went walking in Gatineau Park. We visited Kingsmere. I had never been there. I loved the purple prose describing the property, the ruins and Mackenzie King himself. I also found it amusing that while we were informed of the fact that he was Canada's longest serving Prime Minister, there was no mention of the fact that he was completely bonkers.

Where do you like to bring friends who visit your home town?